I definitely agree that we do children a grave disservice by not expecting more from them... by not believing they have more in them. I was one of the 'unteachable' children, and instead of being challeneged, I was punished for not doing homework, which I took as a declaration of war. Lord, I was placed with the wrong…

When I read this headline, I pictured twin mountains of muscle shoving Jay Z back from the NICU doorway, getting told that he's not the father of any of the multiple babies, and that Maury's going to have the most epic episode ever.

This was actually the first time I've used a slow cooker, so I'd love if anyone had any tasty recipes to share!

Holy catfish, I made this crockpot roast today [allrecipes.com] plus I added a pack of baby bella mushrooms. Damn my rinky-dink rural grocery store for not carrying peeled pearl onions, but other than that, this was ridiculously easy and delicious.

People have been picking off deer ticks here. Now. It's especially dangerous now because people are complacent because it's 'winter.'

This morning, I stood bare-footed on my deck, wearing just a bathrobe, when it was time to call my dogs in. I feel shame. My life is validated when I'm able to prove that I can survive winters that make lesser mortals cower with fear. But it's been t-shirt weather here.

Have you tried holding a pillow to your chest when you cough?

Ex-act-ly. Pre-cise-ly. *Takes a puff from a cigar*

In my experience, Baby Jesus only ever comes to my heart and my stomach. I don't blame Him one bit for not wanting to go uteri-spelunking.

Guys, guys, he's not being hypocritical at all. The Vatican teaches that induced labor is different from abortion because it puts the precious precious baby into Baby Jesus' hands, allowing for the chance of a miraculous intervention, instead of killing the precious precious baby outright.

Whoa whoa whoa, so not only did he make an exception for a life-saving abortion for his wife, she didn't want to be induced because of her convictions, but he had them go ahead anyway?! Way to fail at Choice both ways, buster.

The 'running away' part did him in. You can only use self-defence when 1) you're unable to get away 2) when you're actively being threatened. If someone is running away, you let them run away. If they come back after you, shoot them dead.

The cotton shortage is mostly due to how water- and fertilizer-intensive cotton plants are. We've had horrific droughts in the places where cotton is grown, combined with poor farming methods (applying synthetic fertilizers instead of crop rotations) and it's just a bad situation all around. My great-grandma was the…

Think of all the money the state will save when they no longer have to pay for those illegal cancer treatments! That tumor has human DNA too, you murderer.

Hasseled for it? How so? (If I'm feeling particularly vindictive toward my treadmill, I'll post inventive ways to torture it on facebook, but I've never been called out for it.)

You know, I never made resolutions when I was a kid. My very Finnish grandmother epitomizes the 'don't talk about it, do it' maxim, so it just wasn't tradition in our family. So I was a little surprised when the Mr. asked me what mine was (at 1:40 in the morning as I was falling asleep) so since I hadn't thought about…

Fuck Clooney, Marry Craig, and Kill Damon, because no matter how many people try to kill Bourne, he always manages to get away. Then I can divorce Craig and run off with Damon.

All the more validation.

These are the people who hide behind their annonymity and the fact that no one has figured out how to punch back through the computer screen. They'll type what they don't have the nerve to say in public.

Please don't tell me people are actually calling her the Iron Range Lady... please no. Her district is about thirty corn fields south of the Range, and we want none of her nonsense here.