I'm surprisingly not hungover (apparently my uncle's homemade beer really is magic) but my coat absolutely reeks of woodsmoke. I have so many errands to run before I can wash it though...sorry fellow shoppers.

They have to keep the appstore pure somehow.

I was almost too scared to go see this...me, as keen on thrillers as I am. I think a lot of people are just too uncomfortable with the material to see this on the big screen.

Gah! Now that can't be unseen.

It's...it's just so pretty. Nothing happens, everyone is horrible to each other, but it's so. damn. pretty.

Nah, they're just money-making ventures that exist solely to funnel lobbyists' bribe money to the higher ups.

That alarm page looks too damn cheerful for that early in the morning.

For free it's worth a shot, but I wonder how accurate this will be. Now what they really need is a weather gague —> app system so you can get real time data from your yard (you know, instead of looking out the window) especially for places where the weather varies dramatically within the zipcode.

If I can't pick All of Them, I pick Dr. X, for sheer and utter badassery.

In terms of the sliding scale of pathology, most of the time I stay on the 'normal' end. Finding a sense of control through ritual and routine? Fine and dandy. Getting upset when the Mr. doesn't load the dishwasher right or put the silverware away correctly? Not so much. I have to keep a look out so I don't become too…

Don't be silly. Only whoring sinners that couldn't keep their legs closed get abortions. You have statistics that say otherwise? 'There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.' Those statistics are LIES!

You know, I think I finally understand Serbian Christmas. My stingy bohunk relatives were just waiting for the after-holiday sales!

See, you have to appeal to their selfish natures. Empathy can't be taught, but rabid self-preservation comes naturally! You want to support the personhood bullshit? You best be learning how to wash your own dishes, because if your wife ends up having an ectopic pregnancy, all you'll be is a childless widow.

Unfortunately, you have to hand over your sense of Irony when you register as a Republican, so they'd just think you're a fellow Randian.

Your cancer treatments are killing tissue that has human DNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

If they believe that those utterly dependent clumps of cells are in fact a living human, then they'll turn that rational argument around. You know, because innocent babies' rights trump whoring sinners' rights. *Sadface*

My dear, up-to-his-ears-in-engine-grease, willfully uninformed, hermit of a husband tried telling me this summer that Republicans can't be this anti-choice because that's the opposite of small government. When I told him about the woman in Florida who was committed because she wouldn't follow her OB's orders, he…

Metermine.

Quick, though, they're closing the KMarts!

Luckily, my two year old cousin opened up a toy chainsaw right after that, and his absolute excitement was so endearing that we were able to brush it aside. Thank the lord for genuinely appreciative kids.