Says someone who really did have a visceral reaction opening a new iPhone box. It's just so pretty.

We used to protest the slop they gave us by hiding food in empty lockers, throwing it against the walls, taking extra foam trays and squirreling them everywhere, etc. Then, right after Christmas break, someone threw a Smuckers Uncrustables and it stuck to the wall, oh about five feet above our lockers. The thing was…

That's the best news I've heard all day!

Please sweet Jeebus make these ants unable to survive Minnesotan winters...

No...it's full on legitimately golden. Given that there is also one straight up red hair near there, too, I'm inclined to think that my hair has just started to go partisan, and instead of going grey, I'll have a head of mostly black, some red, and a few golden hairs.

The obvious solution then is to never stop working. Work until you come home just in time to sleep, in fact, haul that ratty college-era futon you've never been able to afford to replace out into the shop so you can catch a few zzz's during the longer run-times! So what if the air compressor's incredibly loud when it…

Yes, but what will it do for the single blonde hair that just happens to grow right on my part? This would be less an issue if my hair wasn't dark brown.

Paragraph 4: "The most obvious explanation is that couples are less likely to use condoms if the woman is on birth control, but the researchers recorded data on condom use and concluded that isn't what's increasing the infection rate."

Well I guess I should stop complaining about the fact that my eyelashes are so long that they hit my sunglasses when I blink, then. At least people will think I'm compentent.

Are comments disabled for this article? *Looks around furtively, decides to dive in* Due to my Irish-Sámi heritage, I go through some extreme color changes over the year. This confused my fellow mixed-race choir partner after I left for the summer pasty white with auburn hair and came back in the fall darker than she…

This adds a whole new dimension to the number of family feud-related legal pissing matches about hunting shack ownership that I deal with daily!

I took Finnish at university, and I loved it! It's really not that hard (don't look at me like that, it really isn't!) it's actually an incredibly logical language. It seems complex because it has more 'steps' to follow (if English works like [if this, then that (but only sometimes, occasionally we'll arbitrarily…

Thank you for making my day!

Oh his opening faux-concern about the ladeez 'braving' the pathogen-filled waiting rooms to get their reproductive needs seen to! (Actually, you know what? This is probably the only thing I agree with him about. Waiting rooms are filled with yuck. Quarantine those sickies!)

It's easier to say 'don't wear such a short skirt' because it gives people a false sense of security. Then you don't have to acknowlege that victims are victims, that we are all at risk, and that maybe something should be done about that.

Whats healthy about less vegetable? *blusters, tries to distract from the fact that this was ever a reading comprehension fail.*

So...with the exception of baking powder, all these inventions do little more than make us unhealthy. Hooray for science...

Never trust an organization with that poor a grasp of promotional flyer formatting.

Back in her day, they weren't allowed to own land, were subject to forced assimilation, and were generally shat upon by the government. Now they're considered a sovereign nation, but since I don't live in Finland, I can't say much more about it.

I imagine it would be something akin to dumping water on the largest pre-spice mass.