@Lynx: The irony is that my motivation to work out is to survive the zombie apocalypse. But it also applies to having to go bush in case of martial law and/or invasion. (My neighbor was a boy when Russia invaded Finland, so this possibility's never far from my mind)

Nothing seals the deal like a quick slapshot past the head, cross checking from behind, and a helmet-popping brawl...oh wait you mean not all relationships begin the way mine did? But I'm happy, so you'll be happy too if you follow my instructions.

At least the technopocalypse will usher in a transcendentalist renaissance!

I'm starting to wonder if this national obsession with weight loss is a manufactured interest. Corporate farms make processed foods (the most profitable foods), people eat them because they're quick and cheap and never ever go bad, while the average weight increases at the same time the corporate ideal weight…

If this had been in my school: "I'm not touching you, the nerf ball/silly string/apple bomb touched you!" would have been the battle cry.

It's not about finding someone who's your opposite or who's the same, it's about finding someone complimentary. Like syrupy pancakes for breakfast: one more bite of syrupy buttery goodness will cement your mouth shut forever, a swig of orange juice will make you want to die, but a juicy, savory bite of sausage is just…

Carrots: the Natural self-tanner.

It'd just be fucking nice to walk into a parts store without the clerk treating you like a Hotttt Chick rather than a customer. Case in point— me, in an unfamiliar parts store on a mission: "Do you have any bead sealant?"

If you break a nail, or cut your finger, or bang a knuckle, or end up with your sorry old ass pinned beneath my 38s, you just shut up and DEAL WITH IT.

Click-it-Clinic! This would be so nice in CVS/Wallgreens stores. UTIs will be that much easier to treat. Of course, making the yeast infection med OTC would help too...

My gram spent years telling me my high school besties were bad bad bad, but it only made me even more defensive of them. It wasn't until they spent the second half of senior year trying to break (now) Mr.61Below and me up that I realized how malicious they really were. I can take being used as the pity party...but…

Praise gives us the tenuous hope that maybe just maybe we'll land a job that pays enough to cover student loans and rent.

@szuperremek: My husband keeps threatening to open his sinuses with his soldering iron; he recently figured out that he can't breathe through his nose because they have literally grown shut. Unfortunatly it will be a while yet before we can get real health insurance.

As a future mother of a likely-budding machinist, I really hope they come out with cyborg-mom within the next five years. Dual acetylene torches and an on board tigg welder-slash-hydraulic air pump would make me capable of fixing whatever Lil61Below decides to tear apart. Oh, wait that already sounds like my Jeep.…

The real catch is that vitamins out of their original context don't do jack to make you healthier. Worse, exceeding your DV of certain vitamins (E, I'm looking at you) can be health harming. I look at VitaminWater the same way I see Special K...corporate crap. You don't need to buy fancy processed gimics to get good…

I made the mistake of reading this article on Google News, and I remember thinking 'Gosh I'm spoiled by reading Jezebel, I hope they do a take down,' and whoosh my wish was granted. They need to feature this in Parenting 102-What Not to Do.

@CaffineFreakUs: I had the opportunity to sing Sibelius under Vänskä's direction, and being part Finnish, I risked failing another class to make it to every single rehearsal. The man's a god.

So, they're trying to build an alethiometer?

@kafern: "At some point you can't fight mental illness yourself." When I was a freshman I ended up going to the campus health center because I was having such bad chest pain/shortness of breath that it was hard for me to get up and go to class. The GP treated me like a hypochondriac and prescribed me a freaking…

All I can say is that I hope I'd be able to keep my head as well as Daniel Hernandez, Patricia Maisch, and the two men who tackled Loughner if I were ever in a situation. Humility aside, these people are heroic and an inspiration.