Anyone who has twin boys should obviously go with Biggs and Wedge.

I guess this law...

You are permitted to flush them down the toilet to give them a burial at sea, but you must solemnly hum “Taps” when you flush.

Actually, not mentioned here are a few other changes to election boards and to the courts. Basically, they are trying to prevent or delay any reforms to the election system that might threaten their legislative supermajority. If they can do that, I’m betting they are just assuming that once they get a new Republican…

It’s okay, you just misread that. You’re just required to actually go on the birth certificate itself. That’s part of the reason it’s costing the state so much money; people keep ordering new copies so they don’t have to keep shitting on the same one.

And one that is becoming increasingly resistant to standard treatments (facts, common sense, decency, constitutional restrictions, etc)...

That’s certainly a fair point. Obama was no saint and was involved in some pretty terrible policy decisions.

This is the common retort, but I don’t know how effective it is. I’m with you; I’m pro-choice and firmly opposed the death penalty. In their mind, though, being in favor of the death penalty plays into the “sanctity of life” nonsense because they believe it is always a matter of taking a guilty life to balance out the…

It’s too bad the opposite is true of Trump’s brain.

All this debate about mayo vs. butter is distracting from the real issue...

And/or volunteer to be his/her VP. The party probably does need to move on and find a presidential candidate that will move us into the future, but are we ever going to find a veep as badass as Joe Fuckin’ Biden?

Agreed that all of this is absurd, but the primaries aren’t a part of that. As far as I am aware (and I’m not entirely sure, but I suspect someone might be tempted to correct me if I am wrong), the parties, rather than the rule of law, govern the primaries. Legally, the Republicans could have gone another way, despite…

It is too late; we are really this fucked. And in any event, do you want to pin your hopes on someone who has just realized

I suspect that’s because at least one of them will turn out not to be dead. Given that Elsie was particularly interested in the hosts and the possibility that they were starting to think for themselves, I could easily see a later reveal in which Bernard didn’t kill her and Ford roped her in to helping him set up and…

Dear Trump voters,

The beast at Tanagra.

I used to think it was important to stand up for the importance of truth and fact, but let’s be honest, the facts are really depressing at the moment. So, while part of me is tempted to keep trying to fight the good fight, another part of me is tempted to steer into the skid...

No, there are five lights.

Because it works. I really wish it didn’t, but unlike everyone on the Trump team, I actually have to acknowledge reality. There have been multiple cases recently where a demonstrably false claim garners some attention from at least some media outlets, and while it is later, and quite thoroughly, debunked, it has been…

It is good for people to know they have options. So, if someone bought a PC laptop in the past few years that seems to be slowing down a bit, their options are: