METS CHIDE BARTOLO COLON FOR EATING LUNCH.

How did you miss Lorenzo Cain as ‘The Great Cornholio’?

Chris Rock is right.

Because I’m a fucking idiot.

Apparently God is a deadspin reader & commenter

“The shots! There were six of them! That’s extreme.”

The fact that he did it while mountain biking and slamming a Mountain Dew, though, THAT was extreme!

Fun fact: Following the movie's release, Chuck Norris's back hair was declared part of Northern California's vast collection of redwoods.

not that you give a shit, but i had a shit day, and this shit joke made me laugh. So thanks!

“No tiger? Dumbass!” was also how my adapted screenplay of The Life of Pi got rejected.

Moments later, John Daly drove into a water hazard.

Sure they are. They're special ants. Maybe even super-intelligent, giant space ants. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.

Teddy?

hey Martha , what do you think? Is the dress gold and whiiiiiiiiiii

My Brazilian friend made $91,666.66 per minute working less than 1 hour! No college degree required. To find out how, just go to this website: www.BigOrangeBBall.EZMoney.com.

Not getting caught and admitting one of your many mistakes before it's uncovered = honor. What a high bar we've set for people.

Well you see, fuel can't burn through steel girders....

Give Seattle credit. As the defending champion heel, they tried to get DQ'd at the end and keep the title belt. Flair would be proud.

Fitzpatrick: Bryan, give me two numbers from the 90s and Brady's going to multiply them together.