Well, of course they fucked up covering the violations. The school isn’t called Southern Hit.

I'm from the south so I know how devastating it is getting the clap from cousins.

Fuck it, call me cynical: for a guy that’s been urged to do the dunk contest for 10+ years, I’ve never seen him do a dunk that makes me believe he’s capable of even pulling off a 9 in said contest, yet every single jam he throws down gets hyped. Yeah, it was impressive, and yes, you guys don’t do this shit as much as…

My mom says I’m a catch.

comparing apples to world peace.

This is such bullshit.

I refuse to believe that Simmons did not consider Cobra Kai.

First he praised Missouri’s football teams, but I did not speak, for I had no idea they still had football teams in Missouri.

Remember when Heath Evans used twitter to apologize for cheating on his wife then claimed he was hacked then deleted his account altogether for years? What a douche.

Honey Bunches of Yost

There’s no way Fresh Choice isn’t the name of the section with the sad prepackaged wraps inside a gas station.

Has anyone considered just asking the Warriors to chill the fuck out?

...social metric company Onalytica named me the #1 influencer on Super Bowl Sunday,

(afraid to say anything)

I’m glad I wasn’t there to hear the resulting Blue Scream of Death.

When you read, do you just stick your face against the computer screen and mush all the words together with your eyes, or what

Nala - “I’m too sexy for this car, too sexy for this car.”

Why go to overtime? Shouldn’t they just draw for high card to declare a winner?

Be honest. Who looked at the picture and thought the red team won?

When you've had the kind of drought the Skins have had, there comes a time that even your Cousins start to look pretty good.