TOM BRADY DEFLATED THE FOOTBALLS AND PEYTON MANNING DID PEDS AND RUSSELL WILSON HAS NEVER HAD SEX AND CAM NEWTON STILL HAS THAT FUCKING LAPTOP SOMEWHERE AND ANDY REID IS ACTUALLY TWO ANDY REIDS WEARING AN ANDY REID SKIN SUIT AND BRUCE ARIANS AND SAMUEL L. JACKSON GO HAT SHOPPING TOGETHER AND TIM TEBOW IS BEING…

The best part of this video is that the kid he stiff arms is named Justice

I would be really surprised if either team breaks 20 points.

Broncos gonna lose by 30 points. Sorry bud.

Nah, I’m right there with you. The Broncos defense is so terrifying that all Peyton has to do is be semi-competent for them to have a shot. They probably need a fluky blown coverage/pick-6/return TD to win, but it’s plausible.

No one has noticed that the weather lady is totally throwing up gang symbols. #WestSideLowFronts

I took one step onto grass and now the government is taking away my cats. Grass: not even once.

[Women] are at a loss when it comes to the reference points of football.

Rex Ryan: “What do you think?”

Kinda shitty of you making the video all blurry at the end, Tim.

Thank you for your first day reading Deadspin then, we really appreciate it.

Please show your work.

My mom forwarded me this facebook-meme-math-catasrophe. I called the police and now she is safely behind bars for the rest of her rotten life.

Pretty adorable in the classroom, but I bet it got awkward at recess when he was the last one picked for kickball.

Him: “Picaboooooo!”

So, Bernie is like your super-needy ex-boyfriend who still calls you 10 times a day “just to check” on you. Got it.

“John, I’m you from the future.”

I think he might have lifted it from Patrick Ramsey’s locker.

Ralph is always with me. As I walked along the beach, I thought I was alone, but when I looked back, there was another set of footprints that ran beside mine.

“I know in my heart there’s not many fathers better than me,”