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He is, apparently, preoccupied:

I Bought a Submerged Tahoe for $275 and I Nearly Became a Eunuch Trying to Get it Home.”

I’ll pass on calling dibs. Few things are more humiliating than being underwater on a Hyundai.

In the early 1970s, you had a few options for a rear-wheel-drive hemi powered Dodge. One of them was a Mitsubishi.

Now we need an article about putting motorcycle tires on cars. I could kind of see a drag racer wannabe setup where you have two bike tires on the front and really wide tires on the back. 

Allow me to cleanse your palates

Who pulls into a burger joint, circles the parking lot and exits without buying anything? This seems like the acts of a very lonely man looking for validation.. or something darker.

Big X-Men energy. It’s different, that’s for sure.

Wow, I was not expecting that LCD screen. Did an engineer borrow a Leappad from their kid?

I see your measly 4 and raise you...um...carry the one, uhhh... six!

“Demanding that all four of you travel in a single vehicle, howver, means the bikes are out.”

My wife took one look and commented how ugly they were. I immediately fell in love with them.

Yeah, but was there a drop top version?

It looks like an old Fiat and that's not a compliment.