Send these to Carly Fiorina. It would scare the shit out of her.

I think maybe we’re a groundhog’s day situation. I’m going to grab a toaster and get in the tub to test out the theory.

my liver can’t take it anymore

Has this fucking guy seen the men who’ve coached the Browns?

Zevon fucking rules & he and Glenn Frey are jammin’ in Heaven right now.

Thankfully the Iranian Revolutionary Guards are far more peaceable and level headed than your average American police force.

This was almost entirely by the books, Fox News has no idea what it’s talking about.

Thank you, Tyler. It’s kinda lonely in the ‘sane people club’, innit?

So, back in the day I was an above-average pitcher. My junior year of high school saw us make it to the state championship in Chattanooga to play at famous and historic Lookout Stadium, and I got the call in the title game against the (at the time) #10-ranked team in the nation, a team out of Kingsport, TN (rednecks,…

You can do it. I believe in you.

(——————————🙃——————————)

I was 18 and suffering from severe anxiety, I started taking recreational doses of prescription drugs on a whim (benzos and opiates mostly, but also stimulants and muscle relaxers and fucking ANYTHING) as many of my non-addict friends had done. Because of a strong genetic predisposition to addiction that I was unaware…

Stay strong please. Heroin is a very powerful drug to overcome. You’re very brave for coming forward and telling us your story.

You’re doing a really amazing and very hard thing. Please stay strong and stay safe.

Would you be comfortable telling us how you got started? I’m always very curious about that, and how young people can be prevented from starting in the future.

Please stay strong. We need you. Blessings on you, internet stranger.

I thought I was looking at my mother’s old douche-bag, but that’s in Ohio.

“Alcoholism is a disease. But it’s the only one you can get yelled at for having. Dammit Otto, you are an alcoholic! Dammit Otto, you have Lupus! One of those two doesn’t sound right.”