I want this to be it:

Dude, as a parent I’m here to tell you that very small children can get away from you in the blink of an eye, in a single moment of distraction. Now, maybe they weren’t paying attention... but little children have a GENIUS at getting away the moment you take your eyes off them.

The experience pushed the Brooklyn man to become a corrections officer. Rynecki told the Daily News that being wrongfully arrested “really made him understand the power of the badge.”

I generally tip cash, I know too many restaurant/bar owners who are dickbags and I don’t trust them to give it all to the servers.

But the human waist spills out after eating too much food!

No, they are not.

He could always try THIS

Feds, please come to San Francisco and crack down on BART, home of the $300k salary janitor.

Someday, and that day may never come, he will call upon you to do a service for him. But until that day, accept those cookies as a gift on his ending work day.

One time some people stole my father’s cooler of beer when we were camping. We all got a huge kick out of the fact that they were NAs and were wondering if they noticed, or if they all sat around and got placebo drunk.

But he isn’t actually committing murder, and the guy applied to be a subject on the show with Derren Brown like everyone else does. Brown doesn’t just pick a person at random: he’s pretty frank that his shtick doesn’t work on everyone. He’s also done other shows about how mobs act which resulted in a crowd of people…

Romney didn’t exactly thank him profusely, but he should have just given him the ecclesiastical Mormon version of this:

The reporter on board reported that the helicopter landed and then went sideways. I’m leaning toward hitting a fence or a tail strike. It was at night and the copter had stirred up a cloud of dust.

Let’s not forget that they’ve got an Electrolux jetpack in Tomorrowland as well!

Now they’re known as Aerus tho since they sold the rights to the Electrolux name. Those things are built like tanks and I’d gladly buy a car made by them.

He is Caucasian.  Italian, from Brooklyn.  

A Walmart manager in a Business Insider article already stated that these items are locked up because they’re prone to high theft rates. Every few months, retailers like Walmart do inventory. They compare the numbers of items that should be on the shelves with the number of items actually on the shelves, and use the…

I saw the right-wing attacks on the paper so I actually went an read it, which I suspect is more than many were doing. From the paper:

I’m definitely not convinced it’s the future—there’s been a lot of data recently that shows theft goes up dramatically when using self checkout, to the point where the savings on personnel costs are not worth it. In fact, all 3 of my local groceries recently ditched their self-checkouts.

This is fake news! (I’m serious). (Nothing against you, Whitney. Many sources ignore the following). Master’s in Environmental Studies here. First of all, we’ve known since ancient times that shade growing and agroforestry is about ten times better for cacao and the planet than monoculture growing. If the world would…