A firm handshake and a six pack.

A big thing of toilet paper from costco.

A certificate showing you arranged to have tree in Israel planted for them.

WHO HAS THE TIME FOR ALL OF THAT? 

When my brother got married there were four showers for the bride. I was in the wedding and was expected to attend all of them. They got divorced three years later. I want my vacation days back.

I feel like, in your analogy, we told Dad to fuck off because Step-Daddy has more money and took us to Disney World and Dad wants us to study harder and earn our allowance so he was like, ok, if that’s what you want but I still love you and I’ll be here when you come to your senses.

Does that make Biden our 22 year old older brother, who probably could have gotten custody but wasn’t ready to be a parent?

Who’re you gonna believe on theatre references? Google, or your Uncle Jerry? (Don’t answer. That was rhetorical. “I always win, Christina.”)

THAT’S NOT WEST SIDE STORY!

“I’m a pretty girl, Mama!”

Don’t u ever compare Queens to NJ again!

And Jaye P. Morgan managed to get away with saying things nobody else could say in those days.

A lot of “contestants” on Chuck Barris’ shows were actors, who could parlay the screen time into a union card. Youtube has oodles of clips of as yet unknown actors appearing on the Dating Game who later went on to stardom. I imagine the same applied to Three’s a Crowd.

**wink wink** (Martindale)

It’s sad that they aren’t as insulting as the corporate handjob that is Undercover Boss.

Three’s a Crowd seems downright quaint in an age when ABC runs Wife Swap in prime time and The Bachelor is far sleazier than The Dating Game ever was.

Wow. This makes drunk and creepy Richard Dawson a paragon of virtue on his shows.

I’m Reform, but my brother is Orthodox and he never misses an opportunity to tell me I’m not a “real” Jew. We are currently estranged. I hope with all my heart that this isn’t a similar situation where certain Jewish organizations were targeted for not being observant enough. Similarly, I pray that this wasn’t a…