In a NY apartment, you’re lucky if it’s a spider

I will have to wait until it starts to get it knocked loose in my head but one of my friends who used to work with M. Salahi (I know that’s DC and not Potomac) says they got a kind edit. A KIND EDIT. They looked insane! They are apparently worse in real life!

I’ll weigh in with a hearty Southern, “Bless her heart...”

I’ll take your 90's couches and raise you a plush 70's

God’s grace.

I have an 80-year-old bedroom set and this is the absolute truth. Shit is so heavy but it’s solid wood and it’ll probably outlive me.

Is nude arm hose a thing in DC?

The Beverly Hills women seem to have it the most together, style-wise. Not that that’s saying much, but I don’t find myself gasping nearly as much at them as I do the others.

Ladies of London! Well, with the exception of Juliet Angus who consistently looks foul. And I know it’s not technically a RH franchise, but it basically is.

This is the face I’ll be holding throughout my sister’s Catholic wedding as I sit with my ultra-right-wing extended family without my partner because we just don’t want to create any drama on my sister’s special day now do we.

I admire Karen’s commitment to sporting the uniboob look in her confessionals. Black Bill Gates wife cannot be bothered with two titty maintenance.

Looks to be animatronic. She may be a surplus unit from an old Showbiz or Chuck E. Cheese.

I shit you not, my grandmother had an almost identical couch in the 60s/70s. It was some Danish furniture trend. That thing last forever, passed down among grandchildren in college and first apartments until it finally gave up the ghost and was set curbside. I still have the end tables, they are fantastic.

17 years ago I stumbled upon a gorgeous (non puffy!!) gray leather couch at the Sally Ann for $40. I paid the extra $30 to have it delivered. It replaced a $2000 leather sofa that crapped out after five years. Our Special Gray Elephant has survived two teens, two adults, five dogs and two cats and lots of foster…

I found a couch for about that price, obviously modeled on the ones in Coco Chanel’s Ritz apartments, at Macy’s. Four years later, and daily and nightly lounging on it for hours at time, it looks like it came off the showroom floor.

Not all Peggys will fail, Bobby.

I asked what the expected lifespan is for a West Elm couch like the Peggy. Both store employees told me that between one and three years was normal for a couch with light use.

Have you seen the movie A Perfect Murder Dial M for Murder? It’s about a very rich Manhattanite (Michael Douglas Ray Milland) who hires a man to kill his wife (Gwyneth Paltrow Grace Kelly) after learning she’s been having an affair.

Your couch: “That’s not happiness to see me, is it?” My couch: “For Christ sake, that’s not dog pee again, is it?” Different worlds, Bobby, different worlds.