I will try to keep this brief but that’s impossible to me.

Is your father well enough to go to a restaurant?

Have you ever been part of a share house in The Pines? This is tame compared to a couple I’ve been involved in.

I live in New York and I get the opposite questions. “You have supermarkets? I thought you all just went out to eat all the time or had food delivered.” Or, “You have a car? Why, and where do you put it?” (We have one because the better half works in the suburbs and we use a local garage but we could park it on the…

I have only one dog but he’s pretty big and very productive. His stuff is so moist, thanks to his diet. It would make excellent trebuchet filler material. I suppose on Inauguration Day I couldn’t really get away with saddling up a pack of horses and hauling a trebuchet through Central Park to find a strategic position…

They say that travel broadens the...mind.

I don’t insult any Trump or Stein voters, I’m pretty sure I don’t know any, but I love your screen name. When I was a wee child my grandmother lived with us and we watched “The Lawrence Welk Show” religiously. I can probably still do “The Pennsylvania Polka,” even though I haven’t thought about it in 40 years.

If you have a BJs or a CostCo membership you can get frozen pigs in a blanket for something like 100 for $15. Best thing about “Mad Men” was the revival of cheap party food. “Pigs in a blanket! So funny! How “Mad Men”” Me, thinking: “Eat up. I spent hundreds on the liquor, I have my limits.”

I am by no means an expert baker but it’s been my experience that Garten is much more accessible, the ingredients are easily gotten, things are usually a two- or three-step process. With Stewart the actual difficulty is somewhat shielded, so you have to read through the recipes really carefully and, for example, when…

A minor quibble, it’s Brendan Byrne, not Byrn. He’s still alive, he’s 92.

The gerontocracy aspect of The Race For The White House: 2016 was a little weird for me. To go from the youthful, vigorous, Barack Obama to someone who is mandated to take money out of their 401(k)s because they’ve hit the age limit. I’m about Barack Obama’s age (I’m actually a little younger, but not as young as…

We live in a post-truth age. I firmly believe that “Brokeback” won best picture and “Crash” was widely ridiculed and scorned.

Really? I have a friend who works at Bon Appétit. I’ll have to ask her which advertiser paid them to appoint DC, of all places, the best food city in America. Depending on what what you want, you can get better food in Kansas City or Pittsburgh or Denver. Or you can just go to real big cities, like NYC or LA or…

Have you ever gone to Nora? I’m not sure what neighborhood that’s in, it’s got a made-up name, like Kalorama or something, but it’s still around I think.

I should add that at du Coin you will find KellyAnne Conway wannabes complaining about the Deputy Assistant to the senior associate deputy of the 2nd assistant deputy in the the sub-regional division devoted to serving the regional administrator of Region IV of the sub-department of the EPA. Like one of my friends.

Restaurants, DC the place to be, I don’t know about that. Didn’t you move there from New York?

I have a few friends who live in DC and one lives not too far from Comet. I’ve been there myself and have experienced no evidence of child trafficking or Hillary or Huma sightings. Sad! as the Donald would say.

My relatives and I watched Thanksgiving night. We’re huge fans. Did you know that the guy who sings “You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch” was the guy who voiced “Tony the Tiger” (“They’re greeeeeeat!”) He’s uncredited, but that’s not Boris Karloff singing.

It’s actually called the renminbi officially, but like everything with that currency it doesn’t have a real name, it doesn’t have a real value, it’s not floated and traded officially, it’s guesswork and good faith on the part of people who accept it and use it to pay for things.

What difference does it make how many people live in China? All it takes is one with access to the nuclear codes, and then maybe a dozen others. Nigeria has 175 million people. I don’t lie awake at night fearing nuclear annihilation from them, although I do have two older cousins who are susceptible to Internet…