It gets even better. Pats takes the wig and tries to flush it down a toilet (that’s where she’s running to.)

I don’t get the registering of the Muslims thing and Trump should know better, and I say that as a fellow New Yorker.

Patty Duke’s finest role (RIP Anna.) Did you know that Harlan Ellison collaborated on the screenplay? Poor Sharon Tate! I know way too much about the novel and the movie.

Alcohol? In Doug Coupland’s “Generation X” (a novel that coined the term to define millions of us) the narrator has given up drinking and early on talks about how he hadn’t taken a solid dump in years but with abstinence he was now able to.

Not if they ever saw that great “Twilight Zone” episode “To Serve Man.” My blood alcohol level is often fairly high, and Trump doesn’t drink, so I don’t think he’d find me particularly tasty. The aliens though would be all over me since I self-baste.

Maybe all the money earned on Raising Hope went for Oxy or meth.

Waffle House sausage gravy.

If the President-Elect really wants to pander to his base he should make sure this plays every time Ivanka makes a public appearance:

People seem to forget that one of the biggest hit comedies of the 1960s was “Hogan’s Heroes,” which aired in repeats constantly at least through about 1980. It was set in a German POW camp and debuted about 20 years after WWII, so lots of vets must have watched it. It gave the world Richard Dawson, the “Family Feud”…

This isn’t the best quality but here is the entire episode, the only episode that ever aired:

And “confirmed bachelor” James Buchanan moved his niece into the White House to fulfill the First Lady role.

Since you are obviously one of the Maya, parent of Axlotl, can you use your calendar to tell us when the world will end? It’s January 20th, 2017, isn’t it?

My town was more civilized. You went to the local newsstand/candy store/”notions” emporium, gave the owner cash (and we all knew him and his family, of course, and he knew us) and for a small fee he acted as a Ma Bell representative. He once questioned my father about a mysterious call that had been made to the…

Did you ever see the Love It or List It episode with the older gay male couple who had like 300 bureaus because they kept inheriting stuff? They were lovely, I want to be buddies with them. One didn’t want to move (of course) because he was a painter and loved the light in this one room, and the other was vaguely…

Do you own your place in New York? My relatives hit me with that WHILE WE WERE WATCHING THE MACY’S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE and I said to my three siblings, “You know, we bought our apartment less than a decade ago [and it cost a fortune, to be fair] and just the amount that it has appreciated would be enough to buy…

I love the international ones because unless the place has been refurbished very recently with a foreign renter/buyer in mind, they always go into a kitchen and there’s something box-like and vaguely appliance-y but small and they have to ask what it is. It’s usually a washing machine (that can hold two towels and a…

We leased our phone from Ma Bell. And I’m not 117 years old, like that lady in Italy.

Jim and Tammy Faye (or whatever the Waco designing couple is called) love barn doors. Which are basically sliding doors, except there’s only one, not two, so same premise. Just more irritating and something people will be laughing at within the next decade. I myself love pocket doors but those are now really tough to…

I’ve been in open-floor apartments where the tenants have anchored big bookcases to the floor, back-to-back, creating “walls” and actually saving the 3 inches or whatever of floorspace a wall would take up. Plus if the bookcases don’t reach the ceiling the natural light can somewhat flow from one area to the next.…

During the dotcom disaster of ca. 2000 we were in the same boat, no $ for holiday partying. So the company gave us a random day off in December instead. The best Christmas party of all!