I often hear about child-free folks feeling pressured by others or getting these questions about not having children. I wonder, do they live in a completely shitty city? I’m in the North East US and at 35 (parter is also in their thirties and we’ve been married for several years), we just never get these questions…

Here’s looking at you, Cake.

I’ve loved Emily Dickinson since I was nine and my mom got hold of the one woman play The Belle of Amherst.

“the couple was informed they owe a little over $700,000 in unpaid federal taxes, and that was just for 2014.”

Do you think they’re in all of this debt because they’re just waiting out the clock on Candy kicking the bucket? She was awful enough to only give Tori a tiny amount (relative to their total wealth) when her dad died, but maybe Tori is in her will?

It seems that they must’ve not filed tax returns and then failed to pay even after a million warnings.

Master Poodler got weird about that at around the same age, though it had nothing to do with spirits (and it may not have anything to do with it now. When he went through his “afraid of monsters” phase, I used to go into his room and pretend that the were real, and evict them using a big cooking spoon and a big wire…

Go out for a pancake breakfast, stop by the store and scoop up the half price candy, go out for dinner.

I wonder if there are good debunking documentaries (or youtube videos) you could watch with them, that explain common reasons for supposed haunting phenomenon. Like air-temperature changes or vibrations from road traffic, that kind of thing. Watch them on your own first to make sure they won’t make it worse of course.

“I had my pastor over for WrestleMania a few weeks ago”. Such a good sentence. You should have lead the post with this, double your star count. 

It’s nice to be able to stream the festival over the computer, but it’s really no substitute for standing in a crowd of people while holding your phone in your outstretched hand to capture a blurry, shaky video that you will probably never watch.

As someone who lives in Kokomo, Indiana, I’d just like to let everyone know that it’s a shit hole.

Nowhere did this article even bring up circumcision. Why is it so hard to stay on topic when it’s about an atrocity that’s done to women’s sexual organs? Why is it always, “We must discuss the penis first!”

Look, it doesn’t matter who I killed, just that you remember I killed them bestly.

We’re all entitled to a few I Just Hate His/Her Face people. Sometimes there’s no rational reason for it!

Ah the luxury of having never bought an item from Walmart. You obviously have never lived in a small town with poor parents, and the only place for 30 miles is a Walmart. In rural areas, it’s a necessity.

it was a delicate operation...after determining the exact weight of her brain, they swapped it out for the same weight in cash:

All I see is more plastic surgery.

Sometimes when I see ridiculous commercials, I try to imagine what that pitch meeting must have been like, and I feel like the phrase “protest is the new brunch” was uttered in this one.

I’m still fighting with Aubrey Plaza. So far, I’m ahead about $3000 (true story).