My parents’ housekeeper told me that I “better hurry up and find a husband before you lose your looks.”

We went in search of a patio door today. It should have taken 20 minutes but ended up taking 4 hours. Apparently no one stocks sliders in November? My feet are killing me, my back is in full spasm, and I’m super-crabby but this baby (in Costco, I believe) made my whole day! So thank you.

Lest we forget: “mercury poisoning.”

My first thought. Is Rand Paul (allegedly) straight?

Will you be my friend?

...running BELOW deck where NO ONE is to escape a madman with a gun. ON A SINKING SHIP. GAAAHHHH

I found that movie ridiculous and agonizing to watch. Remember Elaine watching The English Patient? That was me in Titanic.

True story: when I was a kid, we had a ranch. Took the neighbors and their dog out one weekend. Walking down to the river, the neighbors’ dog bolted ahead. We followed at a more leisurely pace. When we got to where we could see the river, we could see why the dog had run ahead. There was a raccoon at the water. That…

I just watched it yesterday too and I wondered if anyone was safe. Vigilant parents must have been the key for the kids who turned out ok.

Gawd! That video! I jhope st wanna punch her in those big fake choppers.

And ass

First date with my hubs was on a Sunday. I’m gonna concur on that point alone.

I like her glen plaid drag, but please no matchy-matchy shoes and purse. Her outfits look like someone who’s still trying to decide who she is.

That University of Phoenix brilliance just made me guffaw in the middle of the cafe at work.

Nothing you wore, nothing you drank, and nothing you did invited rape.

6?!?? What scale are you using?

I live for this clip!!!

When confronted by human garbage, I try to think of something nice to say so I don’t lose my damn mind...

I’m not having any trouble be disgusted with our society lately, thank you Vegan Friend Who Might Need A Punch.

“...the bones, oy, they are like sticks.”