So weird. You would think that they'd be more likely to go into the water after they knew the Pirates were out of it.

I know Wins are a stupid stat, but this is the most fascinating thing I've heard about Kershaw's year:

Presumably, he's already well-versed in faking injury.

"I'm sorry, I think this woman is off her rocker. I think she's lost her mind," Smith said. "That's right, I said it."

"Yeah, GIFs! Yeah, GIFs!"

This surely wasn't the first time Brady saw Welker drop something.

Personally, I think this shows major progress on the part of Montero. Earlier in the year, he'd have just thrown an empty ice cream sandwich wrapper.

That little girl would have gotten plunked if a Cardinal was on the mound. No respect, SMH

I can see his arm, and it looks like he's already familiar with a random drawing.

How far can you punt a football?

It seeks unspecified money damages.

To be fair to this kid, if he cut eye holes in the bucket he'd lose all his popcorn.

Genital warts has a better chance of slowing down Sammy Watkins.

To be fair, who the fuck has heard of a Lew Toller?

Today 0-1

"Don't draft this guy."

I'm not from Tampa Bay. Only marine life is from Tampa Bay.

You do know that those "15-20 guys under the age of 25" you'd rather have, assuming they're all in the majors, are all older than Harper, who's still only 21, right?

There was a piece in the Washington Post yesterday about Harper's struggles with injury over the past two years, first the knee last year and the thumb…

I can't believe people still think this bullshit is funny. It's not funny at all. It's fucking childish and juvenile. I just want to select my favorite football boys to play on my imaginary team in peace for fuck's sake.