name another sandwich you wouldn’t cut in half

Per the findings of the Rite and Honourable Judge John Hodgman: a hotdog is not a sandwich because you would never reasonably cut one in half.

What? Are we going to the zoo?

Habaneros are nature’s reward for burning out your tastebuds. So delicious.

Habaneros are nature’s reward for burning out your tastebuds. So delicious.

You knew they were going to bang (sorry) on the virgin jokes with the subtlety of a fucking sledgehammer, but I am really enjoying an emerging production subplot:

Between the cast reveal video in December and the premier last night, production seems like it’s really going to quadruple down on the whole “HOLY SHIT this…

So, this is a REALLY long story, but a lot of Japanese “fight” promotion is intertwined with both pro-wrestling and organized crime (and those two are often the same thing). So when you see a fight like this in Japan that makes ZERO goddamn sense financially, the answer is often “because Yakuza”.

Yeah, i know we’re supposed to hate Simmons around here, but he was spot on with this on his podcast: it’s at least even odds that all 32 of these self-righteous plantation-owner fucks just independently decided “I don’t want no rabble rousers around here”, than they actually worked together to stop it from happening.

Yeah, one Pats fan to another: don’t bite on their jealousy.

Malkovich?

I just fucking can’t with college football. That kid just went from multi-generational wealth to Foot Locker because he was forced to work without pay.

...the two yapped at each other after Beverley went for the loose ball

He also made a total of ~$200 in bets with his classmates on the Bills in the ‘94 Superbowl, and then whined to the principal to get him to step in in front of school and declare all bets null and void when he lost.

You used to be able to reliably get him sent to the principal’s office, because if you told him “The Bills suck” he would punch you as hard as he could, even if a teacher was there. But it was a devil’s bargain, because he was still punching you as hard as he could.

I went to middleschool with him. He was a angry reactionary shitbag then - little did i know it was “vocational training”.

If you did as described, when you hooked it it would be 1/16" too short, because the tape would be to the outside of the hook, but the wood would only run to the inside of the hook, and the hook is 1/16" thick.

Look, there’s no nice way to say this so I’m just gonna say it:

This is the most brutal “I’m not mad i’m just disappointed” I’ve ever seen.

tab

It’s too... fizzy. Like the bubbles are smaller or something, and there are too many of them

It’s too... fizzy. Like the bubbles are smaller or something, and there are too many of them

Savage.  Take your star.