Would you deploy two strikers, or your tongue inside 'er?

And what of the tactics? Do you go "4-2-3-1" or "2 in the fun & 1 in the bun"?

"If the ball hits the catwalk there, it's an out, Joe. The rules have been the same since they built the Trop."

One night, in Sicily, after Mario Balotelli, Andrea Pirlo and Daniele De Rossi had too many glasses of Marsala and started a barfight, a rogue band of divers were arrested.

At first, I was certain the English fans were whistling at the refs for not calling fouls on Drogba. But after his fifth trip to the turf, I'm not so sure they weren't whistling at him ...

Your story captivates me. What made her think you weren't just being a good guy? Were you wearing a camouflage shirt with suspenders?

I hope he goes to Arsenal too, but I also root for Arsenal vs. everyone but Fulham. (Hey a guy's gotta have a Champions League team to root for). So I'm not sure how much he could actually fit in, and how much is just wishful thinking/rationalizing. Clint has never had an easy road, needing to prove himself over and…

Clint Dempsey Transfer to a Champions League Side DUAN:

Back when Tiger was absolutely tearing it up in the late 90s, I was in middle school and high school. I wasn't particularly into golf, but at that time, Tiger was "cool." So one weekend my family is visiting my grandparents, and my grandfather launches into a tirade about how Tiger is classless, and has no respect for…

Obviously, whoever's job it was to write The Who's management was born after 1975, and not part of the rockers' g-g-g-g-generation.

This was written on September 12, 2001.

A topographic map of Carmelo Anthony has revealed he's pretty high.

Maceo Parker Can't Funk When There's No One Passing The Peas His Way

[Watches video]

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+1 laughter was audible

Paul Walker has surely given his share of "2-Dimensional" acting performances, but I think it's because this chick is his girlfriend, and it's the only way she can suck his dick.

Authorities investigating the incident have appealed to the public for help:

Ah, the intern tried the good 'ol "strap a keyboard to your dick and try to get the hot politics reporter to bang out a recap" ploy.

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