+1

Well, the Cops were initially going to let Bush go after he said the motorcyclist was 'trying to intimidate him ... it was self defense." But then they gave him the sobriety test, and Bush's inability to "Stand His Ground (without bracing himself on the truck bed)" is ultimately what did him in.

Corey Maggette is still "waiting for an opportunity to play basketball somewhere," despite pleas from numerous coaches that "this is your opportunity, you could go ahead and start playing basketball any time now, Corey."

Amelia Earhart had a pretty tough time finding your beach, absolutely anywhere

Sure, Valentine is probably being disingenuous about actually caring for the pitcher. But Girardi actually wanted to play the game - it was A-Rod that pitched a fit and demanded it be called since he had TIVO'd 'Real Housewives of the Ukrainian Olympic Bodybuilding Team' and wanted to see the episode before all the…

"Coach, coach, the scoreboard's out!"

Rex Ryan: Nice to fuckin' meet ya, Timbo!

"He was not uncooperative," according to Sgt. Margie Hobbs. "Let's just say he wasn't completely unrecumbent when getting cuffed, and we weren't unimpressed with his non-dour demeanor. If you catch my drift."

+2 (sentences)

+1

Mississippi state legislators are aghast and ashamed at the ignorant behavior exhibited in this circumstance, and have responded by quickly passing the "If Four or More White People Are Chanting In Unison Demanding To Know The Location of Your Green Card, You Must Produce It" bill.

+1 (Shift key, +/= key, 1 key, Submit)

Not Pictured: After driving the girls all the way to the club, finding them seats in the VIP section and buying them drinks, Aaron Hernandez sulks as Gronk scores.

+1

I did a similar analysis in the 90s (although I must admit my sample size was much smaller). Anyway, I actually found that the best place to shoot from was the top of the Sears Tower, off the Expressway, over the river, off the billboard, through the window, off the wall, nothin' but net.

In Europe, home teams are listed first, in opposite fashion of the US. But when soccer is broadcast in the States, it's up to the individual network to decide on the convention. Fox Soccer goes with the European standard, but I'm pretty sure (although I may be mistaken), ESPN sticks with American-style Home-Team-Last…

People always stereotypically feel that our conversations are generally about philosophy, or obscure topics that the common man can't relate to.

Meanwhile, across town at the Angus House, a lonely and bored Ausitn Collie stares at the text message, "X-47, Charlie Bravo, Kill, Kill, Blue, Omaha" and wonders what in the hell is keeping Manning and Clark.

It appeared the Prince was not afforded the same respect later in the day, when he was soundly beaten in another Olympic-style race. However, it was discovered that the Jamaican victory was accidental, as their bobsled's level & pulley brake system had rusted completely through.

This guy has a clear problem realizing whether players are faking it or not. In related news, he is certain that he has brought his wife to orgasm every single time they have ever had sex.