I think I'm the quarterback that I am.

+1

After Divorce Settlement, Denver Resumes Goin' Folk

Wow, this is shocking! It seemed like she was totally over the whole "husband raping a woman in Colorado" thing!

Yuck. +1

Baltimore tried to work Joe Flacco and a side dish to be named later into the deal, but the initial terms were settled on after Boston countered with Ochocinco and a carton of Parliament Lights.

A locker room is kind of like alchemy

Great write-up! I'm excited about this feature.

Ha!

A manometer surreptitiously placed in Todd Haley's office revealed unsurprising spikes that were correlated with whenever Pioli walked in, and about 28 to 29 minutes after each phone call to a pizza place. Corresponding lows were when REO Speed Wagon could be heard blasting.

Thanks IMG - keep it up! I suggest a Landycakes "this dude is totally a bro, bra" post.

Josh McDaniels, pissing people off in new and interesting ways

Tom Brady on pace for 666 yards passing.

I'm happy to see the Pats defense not embarrassing themselves for once. Playing a quarterback who can't throw seems to be the perfect prescription to fix persistent problems.

Ha! Halfway there.

Awesome. Thanks.

And what if that idiot, upon finding Tebow, mistook the quarterback for a cheesy villain, and fired upon him with an AK47?

Things got even worse when the nurse saw the machine blink .182, and she knew the next step in the process was to proceed with the state administered enema.

+1

Scott Raab has never once made an order at a restaurant or fast-food joint without making a finicky substitution.