If I'm not mistaken, that yellow card was actually for every single other person on the pitch, as they failed to supplicate upon the piercing muezzin call over the P.A.

This video is censored in China though. The authorities want to be certain that if a monk lights himself on fire, he won't be able to put it out.

+ four halves

Good Morning DU!AN.

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When Pole Vaulting Goes Terribly Wrong

Actually, ESPN hired profane comedian Louis C.K. to do the live Sportscenter, but are prudently airing broadcasts with a 604,800-second delay.

Nope, that's just the lead photo to the new story:

Today in Predictable Tweets: Hey all, check out Grantland for my riveting comparison of early Uncle Tupelo song lyrics with slogans spotted on T-Shirts of Jersey Shore cast members. Enjoy!

Pictured: A.J. tries to hit a nasty slider while simultaneously playing MLB 2K11 and tripping balls.

Please tell me you shopped this. I live at a Post Apt. Complex, and if I ever see Mr. Morrison around I might shit myself.

I just got one of those mass-spam e-mails from Commissioner Goodell:

Meanwhile, on the once-verdant plains of Planet of Decent Sportswriting, a single tumbleweed drifts aimlessly about the now-desolate flatlands. Grant Wahl takes one final look around, blows his brains out - then writes 4,589 words comparing the USMNT to the Jersey Shore Cast.

+1

Cubs Fire GM Jim Hendry, Retroactively Win 2003 NLCS, Lose 2003 NLCS Again, Proactively Assassinate Revenge Obsessed Time Machine Constructor FutureSteve Bartman, Re-Retroactively Win 2003 NLCS Title, Trade Best Players for Prospects

It was the local penitentiary's day to clean up stadium trash - and John Allen Muhammad just couldn't help himself.

Pictured on either side of the lockers are trash cans ergonomically designed for aborted fetuses.

The entire situation was resolved, however, when the "horrifically injured" worker triumphantly sprang out of the back of the ambulance, sprinted to the foreman, and was immediately allowed back onto the field they were building.

Oh that's funny

The Vikings couldn't get their wireless to work at all - due to the club's general incompetence through the air. So, after their internet provider suggested they "run a ground line," everybody communicates by scribbling notes on paper and giving them to Adrian Peterson to deliver.