Pence was just trying to emulate his childhood hero Pete Rose.

Game over, 64 - 64.

(Typing) Fun, sun and easy money. That's the American dream alright. (Hits "Submit")

Hangin' With The Calmin' Folk

FBI Dossier: Chuck Blazer

Ha!

Vietze was so drunk, he misheard his coach's advice "You just need to believe in yourself ..." thinking instead that the man had said "you just need to relieve yourself." And also, when his coach finished " ... and anything is possible," Vietze heard "all over that little girl who appears as if the one thing in her…

Vietze, 18, literally pissed away his spot on the U.S. Ski Team

+1

Oh. See I thought you were talking about that ill fated night when the cops were summoned after Helen Keller tried to make a mobius strip.

Mr. Davies' week's downward spiral from worst to worster will only be completed when he is signed by the Worcester Tornadoes of the Can-Am league, pronounces Worcester as worster, and is beset upon by a mob of frothing Bostonian wannabees. That's just the worsterest.

Former Royals pitcher Kyle Davies was arrested early Tuesday morning by the Pinellas County Sheriff's Department in nearby Tampa on a charge of disorderly intoxication.

I think you're onto something. That video seemed to break several Rules of Refraction.

Wow. From the looks of that last cyclist trying to speed away, Man City is really pulling out all the stops to keep Tevez in town.

Too bad this didn't catch on in the AL West first, where Foul Ball Benevolence would have included a giant inflatable landing pad, or, at the very least, a railing higher that 26 inches.

Today in Particularly Depressing Lets Headlines: Seles Offered Third Chance After Second Serve Hits Net, Double Faults Anyway, Stabbed

Look, I don't care what that third base coach did, Youkilis was not going to stop. After all, if you think it's easy to stop a surly Jew from heading home, you need to talk to Billy Joel's bartender.

Great read Luke - thanks for going a little deeper than "U.S. hires new coach, but can he fix the issues with player development in this country? We will wait and see."

The last Crosscutter near disaster was when Jose the Carpenter felt super bad that they nailed that guy Jesus to his work. But he felt better after three days.

"Our source tells us the busboy's 'built like a linebacker,' 'loves cocaine and underage hookers but hates Joe Theismann,' and 'likes to make shit up about how he used to play in the NFL.'"