If Hitler had employed Garrett's strategy of earning your star, Auschwitz woulda been finished a lot sooner.

There once was a fatty from D.C.

So this means we can solve the U.S.'s financial woes by letting our debt-holders repossess J.D. Drew and Carlos Beltran?

For my money, the least likely sports fetish of all time would be clandestine footage of the 1976 East German Women's Swim Team pleasuring themselves to the raucous strains of the Patti Smith Group.

Reporter: What was your plan to defend Neymar going into the match?

Alternatively, as far as spending 90 minutes viewing defenseless football, you could watch the first quarter of any Denver Broncos game.

That was fucking hilarious. Completely lost it at "Staring directly into the sun."

The Pirates were just too rambunctious in this game. They could have won had they employed a blanketing defense and focused on forcing walks, like the Boston Small Pox.

That's funny

Sources: Better be included in the footnotes for full credit ... AND NO WIKIPEDIA

Meanwhile, despite protests from locals, American G.I.s will wear whatever they damn well please, including their camo, during those photo-op touch football games outside of Baghdad.

Mario Balotelli: (Watches video, shakes head) If that were me, I'd be getting killed in the press! What a double standard.

Ha! (I'm a soccer for football puns)

... Vasco coach called [it] a "cowardly act"

+1

Well, all girls say they like "nice guys," and we all know it's bullshit. Here we can see she's smitten with a huge cock.

Tour de France officials might have a problem on their hands when Qatar announces they've rounded up a group of men dressed in garish colors and tight clothing, presumed them to be homosexual, and summarily shot the bastards on site.

That's the highest mark I've seen since Jason Whitlock was sent a customer survey by KFC.

Coincidentally:

Ha!