Very Short Debate: Brett Favre's penis, Garciaparra's Leash, Napolean's "Sightedness" or Corky's Bus?

The Jacuzzi shot was the right idea, it just didn't go as far as Shane Victorino's ambitious and ultimately victorious effort -

Roy is confused as to why people think it's funny he mailed her the ring. He's a millionaire, and has mailed-in almost every performance since being drafted.

The Chileans were just tired of Mexico flopping all over the place.

Tampa Bay Rays designated hitter Johnny Damon (who wears number 22, in case you were wondering, because it is not visible in the Photo) is presented with a framed bat for surpassing Ted Williams (not pictured, Photographer can't be in three places at once) on the MLB all-time hit list ..."

Pre-game, Yankees players reported feeling lighter and quicker. However, they were dismayed to realize the sensation was caused by being forced to carry the gigantic hole in Jeter's swing.

Jagr to Pittsburgh: Nope

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soft salary cap ... which Stern once called "a turning point in the history of the NBA"

As Mr. Rowengartner piled his 4 kids into the rusted-out mini-van, he silently wept while the memories of his brief stint with the Cubs flooded his brain. Alas, he was not weeping for nostalgia's sake; he wept due to the trauma caused by being brutally sodomized in the showers after almost every game by Gary Busey.

This is the second happiest I've ever been that an annoying fish has shut the fuck up, next to when the audience was made to believe the Ellen DeGeneres character was eaten by a shark in Finding Nemo.

This is the most intense search for a pisswater-drinking bear since that time Discovery freaked out after Grylls lost his satellite phone in Antarctica.

Ian Darke just reported that the N. Korea men's team was forced to endure six hours of "Public Shaming" upon return after last summer's World Cup. I wonder what that entails?

Kawhi Leonard Is 11.5 Inches; Hired to Lower Special Effects Cost of 'Honey, I Shrunk The Kids Six - Moranis Fucks Up Again'

Something of a mystery

However, the filming of Travel Channel's Man Vs. Food Vs. Lion went horribly awry when Adam Richman's stomach exploded while racing a lion to finish 15 pounds of Grilled Orphan and Antelope Kabobs.

As U.S. Men's Team Coach Bob Bradley watched the creativity and flair of the young striker's audacious attempt, he puzzled over why the Ivory Coast coach would even include the bastard on the team.

Pictured: Female left-handed tennis player, dreading the moment post-match when she has to undo 50 buttons from a terrible angle.

Jesus. The way that guy has his hand up the bunny's ass, making it dance to the music ... it reminds of my little sister, and the horrible things my dad used to do to her.

Coach: Alright guys, let's practice that ... uh .. that bathroom play.