Melissa McCarthy, who won in outstanding guest actress in a comedy category for her portrayal of recently lapsed White House press secretary Sean Spicer on Saturday Night Live

God this writing is so so bad. How embarrassing for everyone involved.

I think it’s worse. Haven’t seen Secretary but Maggie Gyllenhaal has a fun, twisted, darkly sexy vibe in a lot of her films. Difficult to imagine her actually giving over her agency, especially to a man. Plus the power differential wasn’t nearly as big in that movie. In 50 Shades, he’s basically the master of the…

The attention.

Gotta say that wedding dress KILLS IT. Just the right blend of modest and sexy, the lace is gorgeous, the veil the perfect topper to not distract from the gown but enhance the whole look.

This is a movie that, like 9 1/2 Weeks, I refuse to know anything about because I remember my parents kicking us out so they could watch it.

Gross. I still don’t understand why anyone thought these books were sexy. They are an insult to talented erotica writers.

The wedding dress looks nice. The film will be garbage.

This scenario is preeeettttyyy much how my friends and I in college got kicked out of the first Twilight movie. Except we went out for a ‘fancy’ dinner that our collective parents had pooled together as an ‘end of semester treat’, got trashed (Thanks everyone’s mum and dad!) then went to Twilight and mercilessly…

I know. Brit “fat” is my dream body.

I went to see the first one with a friend. We went to Applebee’s for drinks at 10am beforehand. It was the most hilarious movie I’ve ever seen. Two thumbs up.

Her body just looks really wrong in that poster, doesn’t it? Not body shaming, I’m talking about them photoshopping her into the uncanny valley.

So I imagine they’ll just let themselves go when they’re married?

I guess I shouldn’t judge, I read a fair amount of Anne Rice as a kid.

It turns out all Christian Grey needed to get over being preyed on by pedophile when young and a lifetime of behavior that was him acting out over being physically and emotionally manipulated was the love of a good woman.

Critics called her fat too.

Any relationship that begins with a sparkle vampire breaking into a teenage girl’s bedroom to watch her sleep is, shockingly, not going to get any LESS gross over time.

Spoilers! The relationship continues to be super abusive, and the lead characters continue to be awful. Now with a baby at the end, to reinforce a bit of heterosexual domesticity and balance out all that naughty hardcore XXX spanking.

So is that dancer in front of Ms. Spears about to nurse from her ample bosom? Feels very Grapes of Wrath-y.