I couldn’t star in the movie because it would have sent the budget spiralling out of control.

Some unaltered footage from Call Me By Your Name:

If anyone can sympathize with trainwreck movies with awful reviews, it’s Adam Sandler.

“How would you like to publicly discuss your bad promo tour on a trainwreck of a movie that led to a painful break-up?”

Better check WebMD to make sure it isn’t cancer.

*has sore throat and fever*

I had the exact same response as this person to seeing her name everywhere this morning. Guhhhhhh.

It’s called “Whataboutism” and it’s a much used deflection tool in this administration.

michelle obama sure seemed to think the position had responsibilities, and i, for one, thank her for her herculean efforts.

We all want Melania to be a wealthy widow.

Melania wanted to be a wealthy widow. Who would have thought that sentient oedema would live this long? I’m sure she’s never urged him to eat a salad or join he at the gym. Meanwhile, she’s keeping fit, ready to snag husband #2. I’m sure she’s pissed Trump hasn’t dropped dead of a massive coronary yet

She has one corgi, Willow, and two dorgis, Vulcan and Candy. She vowed not to acquire anymore but after the death of her close friend the groundskeeper at Sandringham earlier this year, she adopted his orphaned corgi, Whisper, a dog she knows and is quite fond of. I am not ashamed I know this royal dog gossip, not at…

I got married at the courthouse and then we drove to the beach to get stoned and watch the sunset. I would highly recommend my method. A wedding at St Paul’s is not a “low-key” celebration, I don’t care who you are.

You get all the stars.

The irony of a guy that hates immigrants bitching about a country not letting him in is tremendous.

Btw, notice how were talking about this stupid tweet instead of Flynn’s lawyers saying they can no longer discuss the Mueller investigation with White House attorneys?