1. Barron’s father

I don’t know what it means or says about me but I knew what Gary that was going to be before clicking and thought “I’m glad he’s doing good”.

I appreciate this breath of fresh air. The woes of middle aged disillusioned men are a frankly underexplored theme in literature and film. I look forward to what will doubtless be a unique insight into this marginalised perspective.

Everything about Rose’s drug arrest appears to be sketchy.

Narcoleptics are people, not drugs.

And?

“It would be a tragedy if I didn’t have children,”- Stamos

despite having never tried a case

HURRY UP AND GET MARRIED, YOU CRAZY KIDS!!! I need a royal wedding to look forward to in this horrible world! Won’t you people think of ME and MY needs?!

I threw up in my mouth a little.

Listen. Having a THIRD baby shower seems a little tacky, but for people saying that Kim can’t have a shower because “she’s not even pregnant,” I just have this to say: fuck you very much. My daughter was born via surrogate, and I was a joyful and excited expectant mother even though I couldn’t gestate her myself. I…

Even if you take this apology as the truth (which I don’t), this means Dave Becky felt comfortable dismissing TWO women’s accounts of CK masturbating in front of them. How many need to go through this for him to believe it? They literally were there together, so hard to believe they would BOTH agree to lie about it.…

I think it’s sweet that Nick Jonas’ mom will do his laundry when he’s home. You got to enjoy that shit while you can, that closeness, because you get old and your parents get sick and/or die and all you have left are photos and pie recipes that make your kitchen smell like childhood. TLDR: be careful asking people…

Well, he actually used the word ‘sorry’, so I guess that’s a step up over Louis CK’s statement? But it sure does seem like he’s feigning ignorance — how could he not know what he was doing was plainly wrong at the time? It’s more practical to assume he thought he’d get away with it as long as he kept Louis and himself…

Oh I think she has her next meal planned...

Jesus, that’s some Fahrenheit 451 shit right there.

Well, tough shit England, that’s what you get for Brexit.

[huddles under desk]