Poor NPH. He's the best. He got stuck with such a stinking turd of a list of nominations. I'm guessing the poor viewership was related more to the fact that nobody cared about the majority of the movies/actors nominated than anything related to him.

But what does she feed to the spiders that live on her eyelids?

Headlines like this shouldn't be posting around lunchtime. I'm now vomiting under my desk.

Did your mom realize she was nominating you for the whole fantasy suite "have sex with a guy who is having sex with two other girls" experience? I know it's all wink wink nudge nudge, but I still can't see too many moms getting behind it. Maybe I'm naive.

At the risk of sounding a million years old, where were their parents in all this? How do you do know your teenage daughter has aspirations to be a Jihadi bride?

And this is why I will never again have a roommate.

It's probably "poorly worded" because he learned his English language skills from Ronald Reagan speeches and various sermons.

But even if so, then she should be expecting something gross and syrupy sweet (I had an unfortunate run in with the Irish cream-flavored creamer once) and not black coffee. How in the world do you get the idea that plain, black coffee is called Irish coffee?

1. That is NOT what Irish coffee is supposed to taste like.

There is no regret like bacon fat regret.

You know, I've never had duck fat around unused long enough to find out how long it keeps.

Your husband is a very smart man.

Perhaps. But I'm still finding it inexplicably entertaining.

I just need to start doing this. I love sautéing things with a bit of bacon fat.

I had barely heard of Amber Rose before this whole debacle, but I have to say I have been impressed by her master-level shade skills. She just keeps looking better and better (especially compared to the Kardashians, which, I supposed, isn't that hard).

I'm curious, did you ever have male chemists who were somewhat reluctant working in the cosmetics industry? Did it mostly attract chemists who also happened to be interested in makeup? Or did they see it as just another job?

Nope. I'd poke my dogs and then they'd be angry. Angry dogs won't warm my feet. So yeah, I'm with you on the not being able to walk in heels and I wear them pretty much never. But I could seriously rock those sweat pants with a nice pair of fuzzy slippers.

I need this right now! I also need to figure out how to keep a jar of bacon fat in my fridge at all times. And perhaps duck fat too.

I don't know. The ones in Atlanta seemed happy. Of course, that was probably because they live in what is essentially a huge freezer.

That gray dress is amazing! And the patterns really make me want to pull out my sewing machine. I can't get behind sweat pants + heels though. The heels would defeat the whole purpose of sweat pants—me, comfy on my couch with a glass of wine.