Oh, salad! I love you most of all.

Wow, I worked with this woman. She always changed the office Pandora station to country music. Not the good kind either, the new kind where women are compared to trucks and beer. I tried to be diplomatic and put on a top 40 radio station, but she always changed it back. We had so many passive aggressive stare downs.

Man, that’s a lot of white people.

How in the world is #5 in red a professional soccer player?

You are everything that’s wrong with America. Nobody is interested in hearing your fantasy football stories. Do you also have a bad beat poker story to tell?

I haven't seen this many pissed off Iowans since Kirk Ferentz was retained as head coach in 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, and 2015.

The Celtics and Bruins have never won on August 15, but I don’t hear anyone talk about a curse.

The Falklands War of soccer derbies.

Best Xans in Baseball

After conquering one fabled American past-time, The Canadians’ will now set their sights on mastering morbid obesity and abject racism.

You know who else lost a family feud? Odin Lloyd.

There really are no words for this, but there is one acronym: CONCACAF!

CON💩F

“Candygram!”

What is “No Way In Hell” Alex?

RACEwaaaaaay PARK!

There hasn’t been that much garbage thrown on a field in Charlotte since Jimmy Clausen was playing quarterback.

Kind of unfair to make them play Trinidad AND Tobago at the same time.

Duke hat. Of course.