*Parker Posey sold separately

Not bragging or anything but we all had pools (that were really just livestock water tanks)

all the ‘pools’ we had were just horse tanks. but they were the best

When I stand on a cliff I get a powerful urge to jump off.

My parents used to buy us giant tractor tire inner tubes to use as a sort of We’re-from-western-KS-&-we-don’t-know-any-better-trampoline.

it’s Thursday?!

My first very own beer bought and paid for in a bar—Bourbon Street New Orleans March 1988

There is no ‘would’ or ‘should’ to an athletic contest. There is only ‘could.’

As a class of people, athletes have some of the most perverse ideas about what ‘deserve’ means.

it’s the internet who cares?

‘Penace’?

your pedophile ring even had a name for themselves—“Penn State Athletic Department”

Is that still an internet thing?

I could almost kiss that potato-faced goofball. Almost.

I came here to say basically that you can’t complain when you attempt to torture a dangerous animal to death and it shoves a horn through your vital organs but nothing I planned to say was as offensive as your “translation”

They are on a different show

In the 70s jews in Syria were faced with a similar problem