Really not super complicated, he wants to play his Thor Lear.  Fine, big up his beard, give him his eyepatch, and you don’t even have to kill him, just have him ride a chariot off into the distant universe to explore creation, maybe leaving behind Love to be raised by a certain awesome Korbonite.

We don’t know Cap is dead.  We just know he’s really old.

Captain America vs. The Serpent Society. It was a joke announcement they made at a Comic Con or something, basically a slide in a presentation before they announced the real title was Civil War.

It was probably because he’s already been in two MCU movies (plus an Easter egg cameo in Endgame) and the What If show.

Yeah, telling me something is better when I’m stoned just tells me it isn’t especially funny unless I’ve been chemically altered to find things slightly more funny. Like saying “This is almost funny! If you’re in a state where you’ll giggle at a word being repeated too much, it’ll get you there!”  And this is coming…

I’d watch it.  But more seriously what’s happening here is they’re setting up a bunch of other teams.  We’ve definitely got a Young Avengers/Champions in there, plus a Midnight Sons, we already know about the Eternals and Thunderbolts and Fantastic Four, and then there’s probably enough gas left in the tank between…

So is he on tour or are you splitting one interview into like fifteen outrage click articles?  You’re slicing this guy’s indignities awful thin here.

I would have believed “Secret character from Toejam & Earl” or “Paris 2024 Olympics Mascot” before a Pokemon.  Something about the belt seems to mess it up.

All soups that contain a grain element are actually bowls of cereal, got it thanks.  Also sounds like according to the definition of cereal, all pasta, bread, and anything made with flour is a cereal.  Bowl of spaghetti?  Baby you got a bowl of cereal.

Unless you are yourself like 14, I think you may not hold up as a representative sample pool.

That’s just what I’d expect Renfield to say.  This proves nothing!

Quality horse meat at cheese prices?  Don’t change a thing, Subway!

Well I guess “none” is a degree of quality!

First, a fallacy: That someone has to be able to perfectly replicate a thing in order to critique that thing. This is of course stupid. You can say this whiskey tastes shitty and no one expects you to be a master distiller to say it. Even an absolute layman can tell that there’s a difference between Liefeld and, for…

They did accomplish the goal of introducing the next generation of characters though. Like almost every project introduced a new character going forward, with the exceptions mainly of Thor (unless Love turns out super important) and Spider-Man. Otherwise we get in order: White Vision, Agatha, Monica Rambeau, Falcon 2…

I get why Dare to be Stupid is so high up, I’ve seen Mothersbaugh happily admit the song is the most Devo thing he’s ever heard, which is hilarious.

Yeah, some war ninja cyborg gun muscle pouch fucker named like “Overkill” or “Overtkill” or something. Stan Lee just looked on in gentle bemusement.

And yeah as they drew him they were just like “I dunno, I feel like he’s some hardcore warrior cyborg from another time or something.”  Truly wild.  Nice enough guy but…

There’s always been a weird undercurrent of something, I don’t even know what to call it, about Thanksgiving, with people insisting that it needs be cheaper and more 50s/60s than any other meal to be right.  I guess it’s just like “Well grandma lived right when people gave a shit about canned food, so unless you put…

Do figs count as vegan? Fig plants are pollinated via a process that tricks and murders a species of wasp over and over again, I’ve always wondered if “This plant killed some animals” is a disqualifier.

Don’t think Shuri has any affairs of state to worry about beyond Panther stuff, it was made pretty explicit at the end that we’re gonna be seeing King M’Baku for a bit, which makes sense because I bet he’s said yes to the TV show, where there’s no way they won’t be doing the Aneka and Ayo rebellion Midnight Angel…