Thank god I can refuse that obligatory transvaginal ultrasound before my abortion now! Thanks Mike!

Purge 3: All Dolts Go To Hell

My favorite part of this story is the part where Huckabee has absolutely no motherfucking idea who Dred Scott was.

Hey, some Jains don’t believe in clothes, which is probably why there are so few in Minnesota

Sounds perfectly Texan to me.

I think the discipline on this one is cut and dry. One game suspension. If it becomes a national media story, you ban them for life.

Coming Thanksgiving Eve, San Antonio John Jay takes on Sayreville High School is the first ever Walmart Awful Bowl, Presented by Comcast, at Beaver Stadium in State College, Pa. Featuring honorary co-captains Aaron Hernandez and Lawrence Phillips, a commemorative coin toss by Ray Carruth, and a thrilling halftime show…

“The question of what instigated that is what we’re trying to figure out,” Laing said.

You know, a weird thought just occurred to me: maybe, and hear me out on this one, but maybe they take high school football too seriously in Texas.

It’s particularly galling since the “speak English!” crowd generally speaks English so poorly themelves.

I KNOW.

American person: “Speak English, this is America!”

This is AMERICA! We read first! Get it right! The word is SHIT not SHIRT! JEEZE LOUISE!

As compared to Wings?

Well they could mean Dr Paul McCartney of anal fissure fame?

(...) Paul McCartney of The Beatles fame

This is America. And in America, you have to open doors in order to walk through them. Okay?! Get it right the first time!

The Philadelphia Eagles cut him today, per Adam Schefter

Actually, I think it’s a war on virgins.

“...and THAT’S why you should never be a racist, xenophobic, classist asshole.”