Holy fuck. NASCAR's twitter account is exactly as I would have imagined it to be.

With clogged arteries, NASCAR fans turn their attention to whatever just came out of the deep fryer.

"let he who is sucked in and thrown out by the machines of evil be remembered always"

"The play was excellent, thanks for asking"

Reverend Fife? Sad. He's been aimless and searching for an identity ever since Midnight Marauders dropped.

In NASCAR's defense, they did go ahead and cancel the 'Kevin Ward Jr. ragdoll' giveaway.

With heavy hearts, we momentarily drag our attention away from Johnny Maziel's spectacular preseason debut.

In my head, you pronounce crying as cryin'. Also in my head, you eat paste. Tell me if I'm warm.

Well, eating Cheez-Its will do that to a heart.

There are reports that Stewart was wearing a GoPro on his head which might give insight into what he was doing at the time of the collision.

I don't know, but I highly doubt sprint cars use that stuff. As someone mentioned in another thread, they're basically large go-carts with 700hp engines and massive wheels.

Telemetry? Those cars don't even have power steering.

Tailgating.

But it does involve a Deadspin

When will the white community step up and do something about the culture of violence plaguing it's young men ? Where are the white leaders on this?

+<0.8

Common sense should have never had to step in.

I'm glad you specified this was Zipadelli. I was trying to decide if this was just what Tony Steward looks like when he shaves.

Everything was fine until it was announced that Leonard Little would be Stewart's backup driver.

What does he do on a Sunday then? Just circle his block for hours, gunning the engine when the neighbor kids chase soccer balls into the street.