But only if you’re a twink. Once your face needs a razor, sayonara

I’ll see you in court SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!

“You smell like a roll of nickels”?

Wow, that Soul looks like it burned for eternity. 

Forgive me if I don’t believe a word that comes out Dan Lozano’s sewer.

Goodbye, Dolly.

When you die at 97, you don’t need to give a cause of death. Frankly any death after 75+ should be considered “natural causes”.

I’m the drummer for Dynamite Thunderpunch and no joke this is a huge honor I always dreamed would happen. I’m also so curious as to how you even found out about us in a year we haven’t even done anything. If anyone cares we made a post-apocalyptic spaghetti western concept album that’s on spotify

I get bored. A 3rd pedal entertains me.

Sigh...there goes one of the best, most effective deterrents for keeping people from borrowing or asking to use your truck.

I prefer a stick even in slow cars/SUVs. Partially for the involvement and partially because of what Geezer Engineer said, you can think ahead and prepare for a hill. 

As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster.

I must be one of the select few who actually likes Granny Smith apples. I’m really only interested in tart apples, and there’s something I crave about a crisp, cold, sharp Granny Smith apple.

At some point, I’m going to let my daughter try a Hostess cherry pie.

1. Bananas

Time of year is highly important. Cool, ripe watermelon on a hot summer day is the fucking tits.

Saw it today (Arclight in Chicago still had it playing). And as someone who has mild height issues, all I can say is that there were shots that made me physically ill. And that’s a compliment. It’s gorgeously shot and incredibly terrifying. As visceral of a documentary as I’ve seen. Honestly think I enjoyed it more…

And all this time I though this had something to do with getting Han out of that carbonite.

Yeah, fear can keep you safe or motivate you to do above and beyond, or it can paralyze you. I finally got an office as opposed to a cubicle at my job, and it was on the 30th floor, and I had to have them move my desk to face away from the window... first few days I still felt I had to grip the desk and lean away from…

Relative fear can be a good thing: I get the same charge from public speaking that this Alex Honnold weirdo gets from freeclimbing. Then there’s this lady who works in my office who gets startled when the phone rings. I’m actually jealous. It’s like every day is a big adventure for her.