Oh I so wish you were right.

Granted...you are a proctologist.

This...all of this...and btw, did anyone watch the Hobbit in 48 fps (or maybe it was 60)? That was awwwwful. I knew it would be but a friend of mine bought the tickets and when we showed up at the theaters, well, it was awful.

Sounds like a good idea for a SNL sketch this week.

I seem to remember dreaming of this man...he was dancing to jazz and he was speaking backwards.

I get why there’s a Rooney Rule but he’s an ex-employee who they want to come back. I would think there’d be some sort of exemption here. I’m more upset that he gets his hair cut at Sport Clips.

YES!

Coke Zero is awesome. Or Coke Zed as my Canadian friends say. Truly nectar of the gods kind o’ stuff. I drink so much of it...I don’t even want to mention how much I drink, it disgusts even me. I have a problem and scientists are going to want to study my body after I leave this mortal coil because I’m amazed I’m…

Carbonated caffeinated sugar water.

Diet Pepsi is worse, but I hear ya.

Your friend is on to something, it’s really good that way.

“Make it weird” is my New Year’s resolution.

Mic drop

I don’t mean that I wouldn’t respond if she/he asked me a question, I’m saying I’m perfectly fine if she/he doesn’t ask me how my day has been.

I’d like to mention that Monster’s University is as good as Monster’s Inc. The story may not be as good but it’s definitely funnier.

What makes supermarket checkout lines take forever is the incessant need for checkout workers to feel like they have to have a personal conversation with every person in line. And I’m guessing that this could be a forced corporate “hey, let’s make our customers feel special” kind of thing but regardless...I just want…

I saw that picture and for a second, I thought The Donna’s were getting back together.

Buttah. That’s all you need.

Friendsies! I’m really surprised that TJF aren’t bigger than they are. Hands down the best live show I’ve been to in the last 5 years.

And The Joy Formidable are putting finishing touches on their next album. I’m equally excited about both.