I'd rather be so vain than so Raven.

Richard Kind. Paul Reiser. Garry Shandling. Just them talking. Season 3 will write itself.

I could never put my finger on why "Hail to the Thief" felt so meh to me. It certainly wasn't bad, but I guess just felt unfocused. As if they combined parts of "OK Computer" and "Kid A," but without any of the understanding as to why both those albums worked independently.

Saw it in theatres too when I was nine. I vividly remember walking out of the theatre when it was over, pissed that we didn't see ROBOCOP instead.

I'm not ashamed to say that "Like a Cannonball" plays proudly on my iPod. (Spanish version of course.)

Look, you Hollywood assholes, if I want a vampire comedy, I have three little words for you: DRACULA: DEAD AND LOVING IT.

Goddamn, do I love CANNONBALL RUN II. Steven Soderbergh had this great quote, which was something like, "If having fun while making a movie actually equated a good movie, then 'Cannonball Run' would be the greatest movie of all time."

I love it, but, boy, is it a downer.

I've never walked out on a movie. Plenty of times, I would have been more than justified on bailing, but because I'm a glutton for punishment, I will suffer through every last frame. Having said that, THE WHOLE TEN YARDS nearly broke me. Jesus Christ, did it nearly break me.

To this very day, that image of Colossus standing RIGHT NEXT TO THE GOD DAMNED OCEAN really pisses me off.

YIPPEEEE!!!

If you say "Biff Tannen" enough times, eventually it sounds like Bin Laden.

BUT MAYBE!

TWIN PINES MALL WAS AN INSIDE JOB!

I demand to see his Midi-Chlorian count!

Barack Obama always sounded like the name of a Star Wars character to me.

WE AIN'T FOUND SHIT!

Yeah… but, I mean, you can't, like, do anything with Ivanka because, ya know… the whole she's-your-daughter thing.

You win.

Clooney, but only from 1994-2014… BEFORE HE BETRAYED US LIFE-LONG BACHELORS!!!
/cries in corner
/puts on BATMAN & ROBIN
/learns how to smile again… and continues with the crying.