Well, that explains that creepy smile.

Can you please run this nonsense through a grammar checker (or get a 6 year old to help you construct a standard English sentence?).

Nope. Nope. Nope.

11. On a crowded 6 train. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew something was wrong. Especially when he started to sweat.

Wrong.

I feel like your stupidity reached out through the computer screen and now I can’t get the fetid funk of it off of me. Just having tried to unfurl your ungrammatical screed has left me depressed and confused.

Maybe I, um... she really liked that soup.

Philando Castile? Charlottesville? November 9?

Please do.

I’m willing to bet spellcheck just looked at that shit, said “Not today, Satan!” and clocked the fuck out.

I have a Jason Bateman Theory. To wit, there is a Jason Bateman gif that is perfect for every occasion.

Despite the fact that you’re clearly a POS troll, you do provide the opportunity to note that Caribbean people tend to be incredibly open and generous, so you’re also factually incorrect.

Nope. Steve Harvey. Because Steve Harvey pulled the exact same shit, then came with the same game. “My new wife is my soulmate. So no more wandering dick.”

If you care about design, how do you not know The High Low Project?

Wait, they BOILED a real rabbit? A live one? Or a dead food one?

That first thing is a broccoli quiche.

This sounds like the perfect ending to a mystery short story that begins with the discovery of an apartment filled with 3 headless corpses.

A majority of those who earn more than $50K per year voted for an anti-science climate denier with no policy experience and even less disaster preparedness experience.

Asia Kate Dillon, please. Please.

No one’s crying but you, bitch.