So, the testimony is that he was getting punched while he shot the guy in the back. Were they hugging at the time? I can’t imagine any other posture that facilitates this.

Yes, boneless racists are available, just not with a side of bleu cheese. Your choice of honey mustard or ranch!

Yeah I didn't know she still had cards to play either, but it still seems like a foregone conclusion. 2/3rds of a Republican Senate that appears to be embracing lockstep is a lot of defectors to hope for. Getting his crimes out blatantly in the public eye would still help with the election, and the longer Mitch takes…

I like it. I was thinking of the big jug of laundry detergent. 

Nope, pretty glad nobody was hurt. Too bad she freaked out her family and couldn’t communicate the strength of her feelings in a better way, but she’s only 16. She’s got time to grow up.

What do you mean? He’s just saying the phone called lacked any perceptible flaw, and approached as closely as possible the Platonic Ideal of phone calls.

If Earth’s gravity is the worst you can do, then we’ll build giant robots in space. Why does it have legs? Same reason it has angel wings: mind ya business.

Oh look, she even corrected his punctuation. What a dear. 

I was worried about the epithet mistake too, but I think the KFC court bit made up for it. 

This guy comes upon the scene of a tragedy and his overriding impulse is “Oh look, an unattended titty”? What else has this person done? Chill all night on the couch at drunk parties? Maybe try some Cosby shit? Has he ever found himself in the Medical Examiner’s lab?

Exactly. He really pretends to have no idea that cops don’t protect poor people in minority neighborhoods, and that we already don’t expect anything from the cops other than to be more dangerous than the unsanctioned criminals. To suggest we “need” the “protection” they already don’t provide is absurd.

Commissioner: “It is our official position that voiding the contracts of all these black players had nothing to do with the Macarena." 

I hate to beat a beat joke into the ground, but he’s not even a budget Eminem; he’s more like a budget Fred Durst (and also don’t look that guy up). 

Yup

They definitely make medicinal edibles. It’s an excellent option because the consumption is healthier (no lung tar to worry about) and it lasts longer than smoke. It also doesn’t have such defined “phases” like the creeping, the peak and the comedown, making it particularly well-suited to anxiety treatment (as well as…

Oi, now hhhhhwat we ‘ave here’s a fine specimen indeed; this one here is a hwoite person who ‘as never spoken with a lawyer in a friendly capacity!

I believe it’s true that a careful parse shows this shooting to be lawful. The grand jury found the same.

He didn’t; that’s what aides are for. His daughter was like “stick? use cudgel here... just trust me.”

Thank you so much. I was just working this one out with my dad the other day. (He’s one of those folks who sincerely has no hate in his heart, but still perpetuates racist ideas through ignorance and whatnot.) He said the whole thing about “why remove monuments; it’s wrong to erase history” and I had to figure out why…

@dontchokeonyourwoke Those look like examples of paralyzed prosecution, and faults of the court system. We’re talking here today about the well-documented biases and unnecessary escalations of the cops on the streets, outside of the court system. But thanks anyway.