It dings when there’s stuff.

He’d never eat a clam without Mother there.

Also opens with a magic key.

Oh Girl, I’d be happy for just the hot cocoa.

Nah, they’d never use that filthy French word.

People really shouldn’t use it.

Let me see if I can rephrase your position, bro...and I know you’re a bro.

Um. There are job ads on Facebook?

The Princess America needs in 2017

That’s another really great idea!

Awkafina actually has a little bit in common with Aquafina.

You’re a genius

All she has to do is remember what he told her in the space capsule.

They probably got the same facelift from the catalog.

This is heartbreaking so instead I will pretend this article was about what I first thought upon reading the headline, which is: a schnauzer who is 81 years old and also a queen.

HIPAA, but damn good joke.

The crime these children committed was pretty straight foward. Being black.

Oh God. I haven’t heard that word since I was still a teen. We had a spot in the mountain close to home called the spiff cliff.

Picture taken with someone she never met before at Katy perry’ s 25 birthday party... ask Katy who her friends are.

I misread your first comment as some “women ain’t got it tough cause soldiers” bullshit. Sorry about that.