No, the worst city in Texas is Houston, especially if you need to use the washroom.

Wookin’ pa nub in all da wong paces.

You go to war with the gender you have, not the gender you want or wish to have at a later time. - Denise Rumsfeld

Discovery should include searching for an email server in the bathroom closet.

Triple points for shooting Richard Dawkins.

Presumably, this has been cleared with the Bureau of Public Roads.

DeBlasio just found his winter boo.

This is the sort of economic and cultural warfare I can appreciate. Instead of WMDs, Taylor uses WWD. China’s goin’ down.

I don’t care what anybody says, Hillary Clinton did not have sexual relations with that email server. I do believe, however, that she did wipe Monica Lewinski with, like, a cloth or something.

So, Rush Week, then.

She’ll be forging prescriptions for Adderall and whatnot when she hits middle school.

Looks just like the price of oil.

For the Universe to remain in balance, expect charges against Hillary Clinton any day now.

Wise Republican women know that if you’re going to win a bolt-action rifle, you want it chambered for 7.62 NATO.

Merry Swiftmas, Taylor. No, my username has nothing to do with you. I used to own one of these, the Globe Swift, one of the coolest aircraft ever to ply the skies. Love ya, girlfriend, but cool your jets. You can’t own everything.

She went back in time to kill herself before she marries Donald Trump.

Susan DeLemus looks like Karen Carpenter on acid.

The difference is one woman ran Hewlett-Packard into the ground, while the other is a smooth criminal.

If she really does everthing, she’ll do us all a favor and do Donald Trump.

I suggest you take that up with Assad.