Are you a man? Have you been circumsized? Then it says “Yo.”

If you’re going to pit Hollywood’s most impressive females against one another, you better be getting at least $15 per ticket.

This is all the talk around the break room.

They use plain red cups at Target marketing meetings.

If you look closely, there’s one of these in Hillary’s health care plan too.

This sort of thing is a cancer on our society.

I threw off the shackes of tyrrany and learned Photoshop and all I got was this stupid browser cookie.

Did anyone check the grassy knoll?

Trust to Karma that everything will work out.

Join the Army. That’ll show your parents.

This issue here is not whether they broke a few rules or took a few liberties with their female party guests. They did.

Many women have tried to make their own torpedo. Few have succeeded.

I’m waiting for Toy Story XIX - The Vibrating, with Emma Watson.

I swear on this dead crow that I will never cook for you.

I don’t care what any of you think, or how many of you like He-Man better, I’m keeping these Skeletor ballet flats forever.

I imagine Kelsey Grammer reading this in my head. Or Sideshow Bob.

The man cleverly moves the bed at each beat, and the exceedingly chill cat bobs its head as a consequence.

How many times has this happened to Taylor Swift?

I think there is a joke about Chris Christie and a tent in a parking lot here but this story is too depressing to make it.

Or Dallas can just keep losing. Whatever works.