This article needs more calculus.

A fairytale wedding is one in which I marry Aubrey Plaza at midnight in Vegas.

She's pretty, but my heart belongs to Aubrey Plaza.

Pizza! Pizza!

Here stands before you my favorite Latina,

Never issue orders you know will be ignored.

These are all bold statements.

There are still some good people in the world.

This one is my favorite.

Finally, a mathematical rationale as to why I think Aubrey Plaza is the hottest woman on Earth.

The best Joy Behar imitation I've ever seen is from the world's most beautiful woman, Aubrey Plaza. Here, on Jimmy Fallon's show, she shows what it might be like if Joy Behar murdered someone.

All the girls wanna be Aubrey Plaza these days.

@Lais Riberio: It has nothing to do with how she dresses, which seems perfectly fine to a guy like me! She's lovely.

Windows Phone 8

She's quite lovely, but she's no Aubrey Plaza.

@whothewhatnow: Jimmy Carter: History's Greatest Monster.

Take any Barbie-sized doll and strap it to a model rocket, then launch.

It's the glasses, natch.

@gingerstorm: Custard is a pie filling and has nothing to do with cake.