Who are these under the roll people, really? Show yourselves!

I'm sorry, is he wearing a Joy Division t-shirt?

Most of the death threats are being traced back to assisted-living centers.

Motivated enough to consume your own placenta, yet too lazy to make it oneself. I have a hard time picturing the intersection of this particular Venn diagram.

Anti-abortionists would certainly recognize a bombing when they see one.

Glitter IS annoying. Not quite as annoying as fearing for your life every single day because of religious wackos, but still.

See, if it were me, I'd roll around in that shit and work it.

Um, I don't know Colin, let me tell you a story about a stubborn young girl who hated sports and didn't like learning about things that she hated

How do people not understand the basic concept of a tournament bracket, how is that possible while simultaneously being aware of how to put on pants

you're doing god's work here, Erin.

Had no idea they were such a sizable portion of our readership.

It's because

I'm assuming the people who prefer 'Guys Who Take Their Dicks Out On The Subway' over 'Binge Watching' are the actual guys who take their dicks out on the subway?

Do you need to have brackets and seeding explained to you, too?

i just want to say right now that i love every single one of you who voted for meetings

Thanks, I just realized that in my previous life as an associate in a big law firm, I would have chosen a billable meeting over sex any day of the week.

Hey, I'm sure he doesn't hate anyone. He just wants all the women and minorities to shut the fuck up and focus on real priorities, as defined by him, for their own good.

This may be a good video for parents to show little ones who don't want to eat their veggies. "See, the doggie likes her veggies! They're good for you, too." Of course, it could just leave parents with kids who still won't eat veggies and then also just whine about wanting a dog.