The ads went a long way to establish a douchey reputation. Seriously, they were extremely irritating.

Holy fucking shit.

My cookout potato salad does basically the same thing, but the shredder is the colon, and does it get me fame and adulation? No! It only gets me forwarded ambulance and ER bills from friends and relatives.

There’s a Japanese College football world??

ESports as a whole.

SM Griffin and SL Griffin. FIrst and last letter.

I didn’t know what to make of all that draft coverage until Schefter added his 4 cents.

Wow, Vlad Sr. was within 30 feet of the pitch and didn’t swing?

Maybe if, as a teacher, you shot them, it would help.

You could have stopped writing after the first period.

So would the VP.

It’s fine, that’s why they are going with 40 man rosters. Less players mean less people to get injured.

How bad do you have to be at pricing groceries to be putting from that distance?

I am internet commenting on a blog post about an email referencing a tweet which leaked info about a Youtube tab.

At least I’m not wasting my entire fucking life over here.

Carroll: This sure looks like an inside job.

Having the sick impulse to call the cops, from the site of one of the worst flood disasters in American history, to report victims of that flood for looting a supermarket; but also: a crime

I don’t understand the fascination with guns. Is it just an inbred killer instinct? A need to hurl objects great distances? A need to show off dick size without physically exposing ourselves?

This is the antithesis of teens doing drive-by dunks.

The sheer randomness of their inception, though, means it would be totally fine if we one day decided to change them, too.

Look, Congo is terrible, but it has Tim Curry's hammiest role ever and FAKE GORILLAS ARE BLOWN APART BY A DIAMOND LASER AND THEN THEY ALL DIE IN A VOLCANIC ERUPTION.