Hey now, he’s an All-Star.

Don fucking Cherry needs to learn how to don fucking clothing.

Nah, everyone knows that the key Tom’s lustrous hair is that Giselle throws some scrambled eggs in with his kibble when he’s been good.

I’m picturing a Disco Demolition disaster in St. Louis but with broken Keurig machines 

If you’re down by 15 runs, probably a good idea not to burn your bullpen.

it’s less “running out of pitchers” and more “why am i gonna tire out my good pitchers in a game that is out of hand, let’s just throw whoever in there to get us out of this one”

Murder-suicide.  It’s right in the name, man!

But enough about Phil Jackson’s dick ...

Coming out as gay is cool and all, but coming out as a Minnesota United player? That takes real courage.

the man who Facetimed Ramirez was caught with 435 grams of fentanyl

The Dallas Mavericks are reportedly going to fall ass-backwards into a mouthwatering European prospect

Normally a fan of you prodigious ouvre, but duuuuuuuuuuuuude.....

I dunno, the way Gomez stayed down suggests two guys, one cup.

Is there any chance this is a long con and he’s trying to annoy NASA or Elon Musk so much that they give him a seat on a rocket going to space just to shut him up?

Bartolo Colon nearly ruined his career with fork knife but he returned bigger and better than ever.

If you want to see someone launching shit in all directions, there’s a Tim Horton’s in Langley you should definitely check out.

Looks like he pulled it foul though.

The animal is fine. It’ll wake up tomorrow and it’ll be like this never happened.

Be thankful they were just t-shirts and not wife beaters.