Related (sort of):

That was fun to sing out loud just now, thx!

Please be choosy in the next few stories you link to from The Daily Item. I only have 7 views left for the next 30 days.

C U in Temecula, Monsieur LeNouail.

A billionaire philanthropist who spent his time and money on the root causes of poverty induced crime instead of doing destruction to private business properties in an urban setting while physically fighting criminals is much less visually satisfying, if ultimately nobler. It’s the same reason Cal-El takes on Zod &…

And the wind whispers, “donkey sauce...donkey sauce...”

Perfection, I’m impressed.

Chuck D’s a righteous dude, but probably should’ve just sit this one out.

What brand of ketchup did you put on your hot dog pizza? Only hot dog ketchup people would ever order this desecration of all that was good about pizza. (you use mustard, you orphaned heathens)

This is the genius of the campaign, I’m guessing- getting the kids to scream for it.

This good deed will not go unpunished.

Or if it happened at the Regal Beagle.

Only to white people. And dumb people of color.

I don’t know, man- it smacks of butthurt whites trying pass off some sense of victimization as comedy to me. Like they’re trying to say how ridiculous all the “PC” labeling is, but leave an escape route open: we’re just kidding.

It’s confusing because it’s failed satire, â la The Daily Currant, and it’s what passes for humor on the right. I eagerly await this petition to be cited by a presidential candidate.

Retirement: That would be nice.

[passes crown]

More like Sergent Icky-senko, amirite

Real leonine, pausing to globally broadcast casual indifference. Point: Mettenberger.

Parce que l’e courrier ne cesse jamais, il continue à venir et venir et à venir! Il n’y a jamais un répit!