I have the flu and I'm really fucking bored.

I know, let's all wear white to support our red-colored team! That and because it's the most sensible color to wear in 120 degrees.

I've been flashing the bat signal on Twitter for you by talking mass amounts of shit on Nashville.

NASCAR could sure use a personality like him to lift their dropping popularity. He's a talented guy with huge balls, so I'm sure he will end up being successful there. That is, if he doesn't get ADD and decide to pursue some other venture.

Jesus, I think you and I are the only ones watching this game.

FOX8 also reports that ESPN had "two or three" sources for their story

was taken to the hospital to get sober before being taken to a police station.

Another remedy is to leave the Deadspin comment section as it is, because clearly, it isn't broke.

Great fucking job everyone! +1... hearted... LOL... whatever. I just hope the new commenting system allows for a thread like this to exist.

I feel bad for the shirtless guys then ended up getting knocked out on the grass. I mean, think how itchy their bodies were for the next hour.

I am just going to stick to making a pipe out of a toilet paper roll and use this magazine to wipe my ass.

I wish I knew JaMarcus Russell DUAN!

Somebody forgot to tell Jose that it isn't necessary to cycle off of Twitter.

Buzz- Have you considered designating a specific time slot for your Twitter rants? Also, why does it seem like you go weeks between rants on Twitter? Can you try to make this daily, say between 9a-930a Eastern time?

Or does he look like an irritated guest of that cartoon bird?

Here's to you, Vancouver.

In an alternate universe, paper boy Tom would still end up meeting Gisele.

See guys, they're cool. They chose not to sign with a major label.

I want a kegerator in my garage!

It's stupid cool.