I figured I'd compromise since I'm 100% American made.

That breaks my heart.

Dude, come on now, keep it hockey themed. 3.78 liters of water is what you meant.

How about a good old fashioned drinkin' thread since we aren't sure if this is the last Friday-night-DUAN-as-we-know-it or not.

The Atlantic Ocean recently celebrated a hundredth anniversary in similar fashion.

They're just trying to increase circulation.

In a related story, players in Cyberball who were charged, outperformed players who were not.

"Juwan uh aim that ass somewhere else?"

Sending the kid out on to the field really isn't exactly the most tactful way for a groupie to try to recoup back child support.

Ha!

Say what you will, but overselling an injury sometimes works.

Darren Rovell once woke up his baby daughter while in utero. She tweeted at him to shut the hell up, but the message got mixed in with all of the other users that were tweeting the same thing to him.

Police initially became suspicious of the van a day prior. That is when they noticed grown men with money in their hands running towards the van like excited children as the van played an endless loop of the Masters theme music.

The 76ers have been struggling to put butts in seats all season.

+1

Guillen has also been impressed by Kuba's penalty killing this year.

That is a nice painting, but why does he have a statue of Dennis Rodman in the corner?

Ha!

When asked if he thinks the Cubs will win the World Series again, he said that it's a big Mysterio.

Nice.